What is Happening?

Awakening

Ever since returning from Ireland (about a week ago), both my husband and I have been sleeping quite well, each night filled to the brim with dreams. This week, however, things are starting to get weird. (I swear, I have a post about Ireland planned, but it just hasn’t fully formed yet.) Note that I labeled these based on the morning of waking, instead of the night upon which I fell asleep.

Tuesday

Card of the day: Page of Cups

A sporting event is going on — a soccer game, I think? — and many of the players are my colleagues. My goals lie elsewhere, so I am busy walking about the complex, tending to my business, but I keep passing by the event. Each time I pass by, a woman in the crowd (which consists of about 5 rows of small stadium seats, very close to the playing field) is yelling at my co-worker by name. You know, the way sports fans yell at players when they are fucking up?

Each time, she calls him by name, and each time, he turns around and looks at her. (Somehow, his position on the field means he is about 15 feet away from the woman in the stands.) She yells at him, he turns around and yells back: “WHAT? WHAT. IS IT?” with a look of utter bewilderment and frustration plain on his face, because there is nothing happening that involves him. (It is almost as if he is also a spectator, but is somehow on the other side of the fence, on the field instead of in the stands.)

I find this very amusing.

Themes: ???
Overall mood upon waking: amused

(Side note: I told this person I had dreamt about him, and he said, “You’re the 3rd person to tell me that today!”)

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Wednesday

Card of the day: Five of Pentacles

My husband and I are *somewhere* together (college campus, perhaps?), but for some reason I keep trying to send flirty messages to this “hot” emo dude I met (think the lead singer of Black Veil Brides). They’re the ridiculous — oh so ME — type of flirty messages, too: a link to some article about goats, a silly kawaii video involving chinchillas? (Way to show a boy you like him, eh? Or something?) I feel guilty for flirting with someone else, and later on I realize that this guy is the sort of person who was impossible to flirt with anyway. You know, the untouchable sort. So, I quickly dismiss him and focus back again on my husband.

Themes: insecurity, guilt, betrayal (also quickly coming to my senses)

I come across a girl I knew from childhood, and she pulls me aside to take a quick survey of some kind.

“You’re here with your friend?” She motions to my husband, talking with a group of people 10 yards away.

“He’s my husband.”

“You’re not married to Wasp guy anymore?” (I can hear the capital W clearly, and the colors of the word, the insect, and my ex-husband all swirl together in my mind’s eye.) Her eyes roll up to look at me, not wanting to stray from her paperwork.

“No,” I tell her. She she does a shrug-sigh thing and crosses my name (and Wasp’s name, I presume) from some boxes on her from, and rewrites my name in a box next to it, asking for my new surname and my husband’s name.

I glance at him, in the distance, as she fills in some more information. She assumes our health insurance in Concentra (I deducted this was because of some church/family thing — I knew her from church many years ago).

Themes: wasp, ex-husband, shame (or being shamed by a religious person for being divorced)

I am trekking outside, backpack full and heavy on my back. I am approaching a group of people  near a patch of trees. As I get closer, a swarm of gnats surrounds me. (The gnats are tagged, the way farmers attach tags to cows’ ears, but these are much tinier — though still larger than the gnats themselves.) They swarm around my head and face and I try to bat them away. In my panic, I try to collect enough breath to call for help, while also not opening my mouth too wide. I try in vain for several minutes to swat them away. I call for help several times, but the people standing only a few feet away completely ignore me and continue their conversation. I fear the gnats will consume and suffocate me.

Themes: gnats, swarm, being ignored

Note: There have been gnats swarms in the parking lot at of my office for many weeks now, and the past few days there have been some at home, too.

Overall mood upon waking: discomfort, some worry

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Thursday

Card of the day: Five of Wands

After brushing my teeth, I inspect them in the mirror. At first I am impressed by the pretty, shining whiteness of my right incisor, but they get more and more yellow as I look further to the left. One tooth looks as if it hasn’t been brushed at all, as if it’s rotting in my mouth. A strange orange color, and fuzzy texture, as if covered in plaque. I lean closer to the mirror to inspect it further and see that it’s about to come right out of my gums, as are the two teeth next to it, as if my gums as rotting away and can no longer hold them in place. I look at the teeth on the bottom and see that one molar (one I’ve had topped with a crown) is rotting so fully that it’s become nothing more than a cavernous chunk of debris in my mouth. Obviously, I panic.

Themes: teeth falling out, teeth rotting

Note: I have a lot of general worry about my teeth, especially the crowned one. I also have TMJ which causes toothy problems. (In general, though, my teeth are good and I take good care of them.)

My husband and I are at some sort of resort; a big, wide place with lots to see. Everyone is telling us we should check out the runes/glyphs (? I think they were called something else, but similar in name/meaning), and we look to the horizon to see these large rocks/mountains with runes/glyphs carved onto them in the near distance. We don’t know how to get to them, so L (a girl I knew in high school) says she’ll show me the way. She pulls me toward the path before I can make sure my husband is with me, so I decide to just come back and get him once I see how to get there.

She leads me down a long series of hallways and escalators — up and down, up and down (she repeats this phrase a couple of times), and some of them you have to push a button and duck down in order to ride on. Eventually we come to a rocky path outside, and she leads me around and around until we end up inside what seems like a pyramid.

I decide it’s time to go back and get my husband, so L shows me to the exit, which is just a large window leading out to some rocks and a body of water. It is raining and all of the rocks are wet and slippery. Some large fish swim closer to us and I exclaim “There are sharks in the water?! I’m not going in there!” It was part jest, part serious; I know the fish isn’t a shark, but I am still annoyed that she is telling me I have to take this path. She insists that this is the path we took to get here, but I don’t remember it being so. I look out the window at the rainy sky and slippery rocks, uncertain.

Themes: adventure, glyphs or runes, L, ridiculous winding pathways, up-and-down pathways, treacherous/difficult pathways, water I do not want to get into

Note: L shows up in my dreams occasionally, but I haven’t seen her since high school. These sorts of pathways and bodies of water are recurring themes for me. This is the first time I recall there being visible *life* in the water, though.

Overall mood upon waking: strong discomfort, deeper worry, frustration

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What is happening?

It’s been a while since I’ve had so many dreams, all night long, and remembers so much of them so vividly. It is quite disturbing that they seem to be getting progressively less and less comfortable as nights go on. Also of note: so far this week I have had 3 fives as my card of the day. So far I haven’t had much time to dissect or analyze anything beyond typing up this post. Not sure where to begin. There are no repeating themes, but certainly some similar in tone. It bothers me that they are getting worse instead of better, though. What will tonight bring?

Do you like Vulpina?

We discussed a film — as it kind of played through my mind — in which the “ending” was the first scene, and the story kind of played backwards throughout the whole movie. It involved a villain of some sort named Foxface (we kept saying “Foxface” like it was something special and cool to us, like he was our favorite character). It reminded me very much of Watchmen, and Foxface seemed somewhat akin to Rorschach.

vulpina

A very, very rough sketch of the Vulpina character I kept seeing in my minds eye.

I was at a counter paying for a purchase, searching for exact change, when a guy came up to help. He was some sort of acquaintance or friend of mine, I think? He started digging through his bag for change. Meanwhile, I’d found my own change and paid the clerk. Helpful Dude offered the clerk large handfuls of coins (complete with other debris like paper clips) and she said she would keep it in my account for me.

All the while, a separate encounter was kind of running parallel, where some other acquaintance-friend was giving away some of his old things. “Do you like Vulpina?” he asked, placing an item into my cupped hands. I looked down, examining the cute little foxy character whose face graced all kinds of little trinkets (think Hello Kitty, almost). As all of the exchanges finished playing out, Vulpina’s face was most prominent in my mind’s eye, the whispered “Foxface” repeating over and over in my brain.

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Queen of Wands - Animism TarotUpon waking, I immediately thought of the Queen of Wands from the Animism tarot, because she’s a fox, and Vulpina seems like a good name for her.

I searched for “vulpina” but mostly came up with a plant called Letharia vulpina, a lichen that is apparently used for poisoning foxes.

It has just now occurred to me that there was a villain of sorts named Fox Face in the video game Shadow Hearts (one I’ve played many times over). He was the ghost of Yuri’s (the main character’s) father, who haunted him in the World of Nightmares and he always appeared wearing a fox mask (hence the nickname Fox Face). Yuri had to fight him over and over again until he was able to fully understand, accept, and “face” this man who haunted him.

I’m not exactly sure how all of this fits together, but I do find all of the connections and correlations very interesting.

Welcome to Amygdala’s

a·myg·da·la [uhmig-duh-luh]
noun

  • A ganglion of the limbic system adjoining the temporal lobe of the brain and involved in emotions of fear and aggression.
  • Shown in research to perform a primary role in the processing of memory and emotional reactions.

I was walking through the Forest* with a young girl and two younger boys. We were heading toward a specific part of the Forest, an objective in mind. The boys kept running off and ignoring their responsibilities; something was attacking the Forest. The girl kept using her Power to protect the Forest, but the price was that it aged her many years.

We came upon the largest and most important tree in the Forest, and while the boys ran around like idiots, the girl summoned all her power and healed the weakened tree, repairing the protective barrier that surrounded it. We went up to the side of the tree where there was a large glass wall and we could see inside.

Inside was R (yes, you, R!) — an immortal being — doing Very Important Work to maintain the integrity and life of the Forest. She asked the girl, “You did that to protect the forest?” and the girl nodded humbly.

“How old are you now?”

“Two hundred and twenty five thousand years,” she said.

We gaped in amazement (and at this point when I looked at the girl, a nameplate appeared in my vision in front of her, with her age listed below her name. I don’t remember her name, though.), so I knew she was telling the truth.

R dismissed us, but said that if we ever needed to come back, or if she called us back, then we should use the back entrance. We went around behind the tree where there was a small, grassy knoll. Round back of the knoll was the entrance. An oblong shape barely able to be seen in the grass, with the words Welcome to Amygdala’s burned(?) into the grass.

I thought it was beautiful and memorable, so I took out my phone to take a picture of it. But when I looked at it through the camera, it changed (became distorted) and two small holes opened up, ready to spurt poison out at me! I gasped in surprise and the girl hurriedly urged me to put my phone away.

We continued on with our journey through the Forest, away from R, the boys completely gone now. But soon, the girl was called back, and made her way alone toward the secret entrance to Amygdala’s.

At this point, the scene changed, and apparently this had all been a movie I was watching on DVD at my in-laws’ house. The movie was called Welcome to Amygdala’s, and the cover had a picture of that back entrance on it.

I don’t know who the girl was, or could have resembled. She was small, around 12 years old, with chin-length, dirty-blond hair. Obviously not very similar to either R or me.

As of right now, I’m still trying to process this. I know it is important, but it’s just circling my brain, swirling, not allowing me to find the answer.

*Look, I know you hate unnecessarily capitalized words as much as I do, but in this context, these words (Forest, Power, etc.) are proper nouns.

Worst. Dream. Ever.

3 of Swords - Undersea Tarot

3 of Swords – Undersea Tarot

I often fall asleep on the couch downstairs and transfer to the bedroom once I awaken for meds halfway through the night (long story, involves narcolepsy). One night recently, I woke before my alarm, terrified by the dream I just had.

Shaking, I went upstairs to bed and whispered to my husband, “Are you asleep?”

He whispered back, “No.”

“I just had a horrible dream,” I said.

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