Making (and Knowing) Death

This past weekend, I went to my little tarot fun collage party again, and this time we worked on Death. It was another night of interesting discussion and fun! Have I mentioned how much I love being able to get together with a whole group of people who read tarot? It is truly inspiring and comforting all at once.

Our 6 different interpretations of Death

Our 6 different interpretations of Death

At Death night, one person was saying how each time we work on a card, their whole week seems to revolve around that card, and proceeded to share some things that had happened throughout the week. Surprisingly, this week has had some Death in it for me, too.

I have been doing my best to think like The Hanged Man, since it is my year card for 2013. I’ve been hoping that seeing things from a different perspective will open up new avenues for solving some of the problems I continue to have. I am pleased to report that today I have had a breakthrough (or two)!

It all started with a Death.

Today my daily draw card was Death. When I saw it, I said a little “heh” (thinking about the tarot collage card) and went about my day. Little did I know that my daily draw card was going to manifest itself much more powerfully than almost any other has before.

(I’ll try to make a long story short. Cross your fingers.)

RadiantRiderWaite_Death

Traditional RWS Death

A few years ago, I used to be a pretty active blogger in the video game world, and was having a great time in my… rather interesting… role. At one point, I went too far, and drew the ire of a large group of “game journalists” without even realizing what I was doing. Since then, my perspective has shifted and I’ve realized the scope of the video game blogging (“journalism”) world. I realized my mistake, sought to correct it, and since then I have been a pretty avid watcher of this sector of the internet.

I’ve desired, for a while, to become a part of the crowd, to get to know these people, and have them know and respect me. Generally I had been happy watching and just “being a presence” in the community, but always with a secret desire to be more well-known, especially by some people that I respected and liked.

Today? I realized that I don’t care.

13_Death_031613

My Death collage

You see, since last summer, I’ve also been nurturing another blog. A book blog, where I’ve just been doing my own thing, having fun, and joining in the community at my own pace. Suddenly, last week, my blog has suddenly “gotten there”. I’ve seen a spike in visitors and discussion on my blog. People know me now! And people like what I have to say! It’s like I’ve found a new home that is welcoming and enjoyable and a fun place to be.

The whole epiphany came when I decided that it was time to change my twitter account over to reflect my book blog instead of the old video game blogger moniker.

Forget all those people who refuse to acknowledge me. Forget all the stupid drama that is the video game “journalist” world. It was like a wave of relief washed over me. I can cull the crap from my twitter feed and finally own my account under a persona that is much more “the real me”.

This death? It feels so, so good.

[As a side note, I had a second death today. I wrote another blog post (on yet *another* blog) that inadvertently pissed someone off. I guess it took two times for me to learn this lesson. But now that message about my soul gift — 4 of cups — is being heard loud and clear.]
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