The past two days have been a break (of a sort) for me. Instead of being at work, I was performing my civic duty as a juror. The whole experience was rather interesting, but I won’t get into that now. During a break this morning, I was conversing with a co-worker about one of our projects. I quickly noted the increase in my heartrate and was surprised to realize how much stress I felt just from thinking about work. At that point, I put my phone away and told myself not to think about work. The worst part was that it wasn’t even an emergency (it wasn’t ideal, but nothing that couldn’t be resolved), and there I was feeling WAY too stressed out about it.
It’s pretty much at this point that I’ve decided I need to take action. I’ve known for a while that my job is too stressful, and I’ve known for even longer that I need to keep my stress to a minimum. It’s time for me to do something about it. Naturally, I consult the tarot. [I feel like I need to add that I love my job and I love my employer. What I don’t love is the amount of work I have to do, and that I let it affect me so deeply.]
The current situation: Pretty straightforward. I’m estranged from my job, but wanting to be fair about my feelings regarding my job.
The desired situation: I just want some moderation and balance, so I can get back to loving my job again. (This is so straightforward that I almost feel like the cards are laughing at me. At least the accuracy is reassuring.)
The next step: I stared at these cards for a long time, trying to understand their message. It seems like they’re saying this: The next step is for me to bend over backwards to maintain the abundance, and be a source of strength for the company (rather than taking the strength away). Ha. Ha. Ha. Tarot, you are so laughing at me right now. Because I *do this already*. So basically, I need to keep doing what I’m doing… And then will I get that desired situation? That part is unclear.
1 – Can I get more explanation about the last 3 cards (the next step)? “Compassion, experience, and maturity is the key,” says Mary-El. Search your heart; be a self-made woman.
2 – Where will I stand if I follow that advice? Cloaked in the truth, in righteousness, and in my vulnerable honesty. In other words, my self sacrifice will be clear to everyone. Well, that’s good to know, but I still don’t know if I’ll finally get my desired result.
3 – Where will I stand stress-wise, when this is over? Strong, stable, and protected. I expect that by this point, I’ll have learned to manage the stress in my life (even if it is a slow, gradual process).
What I failed to ask was “How do I manage this stress during all my self-sacrifice?” – and that’s kind of a damn shame. Perhaps that calls for a whole separate reading, though. What I find interesting is the recurrence of strength. Normally, I prefer to think of the Strength card as the VIII of the Major Arcana, and Justice as the XI. In Mary-El, they are swapped, and yet they still showed up in the places they needed to be in this spread.
The Strength card, well, it follows me everywhere. Should I really be surprised now that I’m being told to hold fast to it, be a source of strength (as usual) and then find myself cloaked in it? I love how the Mary-El Strength and 8 of Cups so nicely complement each other. Whew.
[I apologize if any of this seems/sounds disjointed. As tarot reading is intuitive, and this is also a personal reading, it’s hard to convey everything properly.]