Pathways and Pacing

teardrop_pendant

I would try to draw it, but the silvery-ness is more important than the design. This is similar, but missing the larger gemstones.

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In a new home of learning, a guide had come and insisted on giving me a tour. Annoyed, I followed him, only to lose the bastard in a large crowd, because he wouldn’t wait for me or even look back to see that I was still with him. I decided to find my way back, but at the stairwell juncture, I couldn’t remember which one we’d taken. I chose the one I thought was correct, but it took me out onto a rocky ledge overlooking a large body of water. I tried climbing up, and around, and down, all to no avail. In every direction there was nothing but rocky/grassy _unhelpful areas_.

A business woman joined me on the ledge, followed by a man who appeared to be her assistant/partner. She handed me a pendant, wrapped in a plastic bag. For some reason, she was awarding me with this pendant, and she was apologizing for not giving it to me until just now. It was silvery, teardrop-shaped, with white/clear gemstone embellishments. I thanked her, telling her how beautiful it was (it was pretty, not exactly my type, but it felt special or important). I took my other necklace off and held it in my other hand, pacing back and forth on the tiny ledge, looking for a spot that would allow me to change necklaces out.

We all stood there on the tiny, rocky ledge, each of us trying to find a way off. Each of us stuck in our own little struggle, not acknowledging it to each other or to ourselves. Neither was I scared, nor worried, just facing my peers and quietly trying to find my way off the ledge.

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The necklace I currently wear holds a pendant of the saint by which my husband was named. I keep it as a token of him (I also love religious symbols, because I feel that they hold power, even if I don’t practice that particular religion. Spiritual symbols are powerful, no?). It also holds a tiny, beautiful ring given to me by my best friend. I keep it on the necklace as a token of her, and because it is either too big or too small to fit comfortably on any of my fingers! Why would I want to replace this necklace, carrying tokens of those I hold dearest, with another?

I cannot help thinking that this ledge (and pendant?) is a symbol for something in my current life. The good thing is that I’m not afraid, and I’m apparently not alone. The bad thing is that apparently the ledge seems inescapable. I need to find the ledge, figure out why I’m stuck on it, and figure out how to move forward.

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One thought on “Pathways and Pacing

  1. Pingback: Choosing and Changing | her sixth circle

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