Ten Years…

Ten years ago today, I was on the brink of something huge. I was about to make one of the biggest decisions of my life. I was planning to elope on the day after Christmas and leave behind everything I knew, for the guy I was in love with. My family was crushing me with their rules and not listening to what I wanted. I wanted to escape.

It is only just now that I’ve realized it’s been ten years. So much has happened* in those ten years, and as I sit here clinging to the life I have at this moment, I can’t believe I’ve stumbled across this spread.

To be honest, I’m really quite terrified to even think about myself and my life from ten years ago. I’m not sure what I hope to glean from this spread, but perhaps some additional wisdom would have improved the course of those next ten years. Hmm.

If you could travel back in time 10 years ago and have a 5 minute conversation with yourself what would you say?

[For this one, I used Wildwood.]

The Forest Lovers - Wildwood Tarot   Ace of Bows (A/W) - Wildwood Tarot   Ten of Stones (10/P) - Wildwood Tarot

1. Do not do this. The Forest Lovers (The Lovers)
“Do not elope! Forget the romantic plans, because they’re not worth it.”

2. Do this. Ace of Bows – Spark of Life (A/W)
“Focus on all of the creative energies in your life right now. Go back and finish your art degree – it WILL be worth it!”

3. Change this. Ten of Stones – Home (10/P)
“Pay attention to the issues within your family. Don’t cause more problems; work on fixing the ones that already exist. Don’t create rifts – forge tighter bonds.”

Well, shit. Sounds like amazing advice. I wonder if I would have listened to this advice back then, though. My solace, however, is that through everything that happened during those ten years, I was brought right to the spot where I sit now. And it is very good. I might never have met Darling if I hadn’t gone through all the bad years. For him, for this, it was all worth it.

*I abandoned my education, sunk into a deep depression, divorced, bad things, etc. It is only in the past 3 years that I have pulled myself out and blossomed into a fulfilling life.

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